How to Help Your Child Through a Traumatic Event
As parents, we all want to protect our children from grief and trauma. There are times when we are not able protect our children from the struggles in life and may need some guidance on how to help our child cope with a tragic or sad event. Below are suggestions to help guide yourself and your child during a tough time.
-Be aware of your own reactions to the event. Attempt to model calm behavior.
-Be understanding of changes in behavior- (e.g., nightmares, bed-wetting, stomach aches, headaches.)
-Keep yourself available for providing extra attention to your child, including extra hugs as needed.
-Don’t avoid discussion about this incident if your child expresses a desire to talk.
- Give factual information without unnecessary details.
- When appropriate, express your own feelings (e.g., “I am sad about what happened as well ... Let's talk about what you have been feeling . . . “).
- Reassure them that feelings of fear, sadness, anger, and guilt are “normal” reactions to an “abnormal” experience.
- Don't hesitate to admit that you do not have the answers for all that is asked.
- *Extremely Important* Monitor exposure to media. Do not overexpose children to television and radio, especially preschool and elementary-aged children.
- Encourage your child’s feelings and curiosity into some form of helping behavior. For example, write a letter or draw pictures, donate clothes, or help raise money for those affected by the event.
- Encourage expressive activities including drawing, writing a poem or story, writing a song, dancing, painting, acting, etc.
- Develop a list of emergency contact numbers or determine ways to increase communication when you have to be away from your kids.
- Consider the reactions of children with histories of past traumatic experiences, losses, or emotional disturbance (e.g., depression, anxiety).
- Be observant for signs of suicide, substance abuse, severe sleeping and eating disturbance, and externalizing of angry or aggressive feelings.
- Make an effort to maintain a “normal” routine. Keeping some consistency in household chores, dinner time, homework, bedtime can foster the healing and recovery process.
- If in doubt, seek professional help for concerns regarding yourself or your child. Grief is a natural response and sometimes requires professional help. Trauma is often confused with grief, but trauma should be treated by a professional as soon as possible. Look for a therapist who is trained in EMDR if you are concerned about trauma in your family.
GRIEF
|
TRAUMA
|
Generalized reaction...SADNESS
|
Generalized reaction...TERROR
|
Grief reactions are generally known to the
public and the professional
|
Trauma reactions, especially in children, are
largely unknown to the public.
|
Grief generally does not attack or "disfigure"
our identity
|
Trauma generally attacks, distorts, and
"disfigures" our identity
|
In grief, guilt says, “I Wish I would/would not
have..."
|
Trauma guilt says, “It was my fault. I Could have prevented it. It should have been me”
|
Dreams tend to be of the person who
died
|
Dreams are about the child, himself, dying or being hurt
|
Grief reactions can stand alone
|
Trauma reactions generally also include grief
reactions
|
Pain is related to the loss
|
Pain is related to the tremendous terror and an overwhelming sense of powerlessness and fear for safety
|
Anger is generally not destructive
|
Anger often becomes assaultive (even after non-violent trauma, fighting often increases)
|
(http://www.starrtraining.org/trauma-and-children)
1) “A Practical Guide for Crisis Response in Our Schools” © 2003 by The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress— 368 Veterans Memorial Highway, Commack New York 11725. www.aaets.org • www.schoolcrisisresponse.com.
2) NASP, © 2002,National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814, www.nasponline.org.
3) Colorado School Safety Resource Center- Supporting Safe and Positive Colorado Schools, 700 Kipling Street #1000, Denver, CO 80215, www.safeschools.state.co.us
kellikorn.com
kellikorn.blogspot.com
720-258-6518
No comments:
Post a Comment