Biggest Regrets in Life
1. Working so much at the expense of family and friendships. At times, pleasing your boss or coworkers must come second to spending time with your family. Time is fleeting and soon your kids will be out on their own, leaving you wishing you had left work a bit earlier to build forts and read bedtime stories. Start making family, friends, and your marriage a priority right at this moment, as this is one of the top regrets.
2. Not standing up for what you believe is right. Believe it or not, a lot of our biggest regrets in life have to do with things that happened to us at an early age. We never seem to forget – or forgive ourselves – for not speaking up against the bullies, and that carries over into our adult lives. You may not be able to stand up to the bully from 4th grade, but you can start using your confidence to advocate for yourself when you are being treated unfairly.
3. Losing touch with childhood friends. There’s usually one childhood or high school friend who we were best buddies with. Then, one of us moved away. We might have stayed in touch at first but then got busy. Luckily, Facebook has changed that a bit and created a way to reconnect with people, but rather than just scanning their photos, reach out and schedule a time to get together. Socializing in person will go a lot further than a few e-mail messages.
4. Losing track of time due to technology. Many of us can’t get off our phone/email/ video game addiction. We sleep with devices next to us. We carry them with us constantly. How many times have you had a day off, only to realize it's 5 O'clock and you didn't do anything you wanted or intended to do because you got sucked into a video game or Facebook? Change it now! Set an alarm for a reasonable amount of time to check your e-mail, Twitter, and Pinterest, and when the alarm goes off, you are done. Then go outside, reconnect with the sunshine, walk your dogs, play with your kids. Life is much more than the screen of a laptop.
5. Losing a great love. Romance is a big area of regret for most of us. Maybe we dumped someone that we wish we hadn’t. Maybe they dumped us. Most play a never-ending game of “what might have been” for the rest of their lives. It is tough to simply be happy with the love that you’ve found and takes away from the special moments you have today, if you’re constantly thinking back to what you once had — which actually might not have been half as good as we think it was. Find something valuable to take from that relationship and then think about ten reasons why you are thankful for your spouse, partner, or your single life.
6. Worrying about what others think. Most of us place way too much importance on what other people around us think about us. We spend way too much time asking "What will people think if....?". More on this topic in another blog post, but in the meantime, let go of being a people pleaser.
7. Not having enough confidence in ourselves. Related to the previous point regarding standing up for ourselves, a big regret for most of us is questioning why we had such little confidence in ourselves at various times in our lives. This is one of those areas we can't go back and change, but you can start taking stock of your strengths and become more confident now.
8. Living the life that someone else wanted for me. Related to that lack of confidence, a lot of us get sucked into living the life that we think we should live. Whether because we’re explicitly told or just because we unconsciously adopt it, we make key life choices – about where to go to school, what to study, and where to work — because we think it’s what will make our parents or others happy. Our happiness is derived through their happiness – or so we think. Think of what makes you happy and ask yourself if you should be doing something differently.
9. Taken things too seriously. My motto of the year is "Live in the Moment, Enjoy the Adventure." To be perfectly honest, this came to me in church when we were asked to pray about what was in store for each of us for the new year. These words came to me as if they were spoken out loud, and it made a lot of sense. I imagine most of you could benefit from living this motto a bit more as well. Enjoy the little things, stop and smell the roses, you pick the phrase, but slow down before it's over.
10. Traveled more. Most people have a long list of places they would like to visit. Most people also have a lot of vacation days built up. Use your vacation days people- that's what they are there for! Check a couple big trips and a couple of small trips of each year. What are you waiting for?
11. Trying to control things. Let's face it, there is little we can control in life. Spending time and effort trying to maintain control usually results in high anxiety. Do your best to plan things, but learn to go with Plan B, C, or D when needed. You will save a lot of time to use in ways other than stressing about what didn't go as planned.
12. Holding a grudge. Grudges go along with trying to control things. If someone has truly betrayed you beyond repair, acknowledge it, and let it go. Most of the time, grudges come from minor disagreements that people hold on to and it grows until the relationship is beyond repair. It is okay to not like someone after they way they have treated you, but forgive them, and move on knowing your relationship is not going to exist in the same way, and that is okay.
13. Not taking risks. Nerves get the best of us – especially when we’re young. We can forgive ourselves that we didn’t screw up enough courage to ask that boy or girl out on a date or to the prom. It also extends to not applying for a promotion you wanted or trying something new. This is is also one of the biggies, so learn from your mistakes and start taking some risks. Without risks, there are no rewards.
14. Not taking better care of ourselves. Often, people regret something about their health, such as not visiting the doctor more often, eating poorly, and not exercising. Start making your health a priority so that you can live a longer, fuller life.
15. Losing the connection with your spirituality.
According to the Pew Research Center, nearly 6 in 10 U.S. adults say that religion is very important in their lives. However, despite these relatively high numbers — or, maybe because of them — 3 per cent of those surveyed felt sorry about something spiritual. “Common issues included not going to church enough or making choices that people later felt were immoral and not in line with their religious beliefs,” says Morrison. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by spiritual guilt, try to reconnect with your faith in a positive way. Prayer and meditation help us relax, causing blood pressure to dip, heart rate to decrease, and muscle tension to ease up — all very healthy side effects, says Michael Stefanek, PhD, director of the Behavioral Research Center of the American Cancer Society.
Whatever your regrets are, it is important to realize that we can't change the past. Looking for a "takeaway," or something useful you can learn from an unfortunate experience is the best way to turn a regret into a positive. If you are finding that regret is overshadowing your present and future, seek professional help from a counselor who can help you process things differently so that they don't become a source of regret for you in the future.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/ericjackson/2012/10/18/the-25-biggest-regrets-in-life-what-are-yours/
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/07/10/life-regrets_n_3574545.html
http://www.secretregrets.com/
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