How Can Trauma Affect my Physical Health?

How Can Trauma Affect my Physical Health?

I have many clients that come in wanting counseling for various issues.  When I do my initial assessment, I ask about patterns in sleep, appetite, and overall physical health.  About 90 % of my clients list some sort of physical complaint such including headaches, stomachaches, insomnia, or changes in appetite. The more I work with clients in the private setting, as well as my student in the school setting, I am finding that the mind-body connection is something we all need to address at some point in our lives.

If you have been struggling with physical complaints, you may be addressing the symptoms, but not the cause, which is likely something emotional that has not been addressed.  Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. Have you had unexplained headaches, stomach issues, or twitches that seem to improve minimally with medication or traditional remedies?
2. Do you have any life disturbances or trauma in your past history that has not been addressed?
3. Are you struggling with sleep- falling asleep, staying asleep, restless sleep, nightmares more than once or twice per month?
4. Are you struggling with low energy?
5. Do you find yourself struggling to care about things at work or home, even things you used to find enjoyable?
6. Are you easily distracted or do you have trouble concentrating on anything?
7. Do you "zone out" frequently?
8. Have the quality of your relationships changed?
9. Do you have flashbacks or memories that are intrusive?  (Meaning they come at times that are disruptive to your life)
10. Do you have an overall feeling of unease or anxiousness?

If you answered yes to more than two of these questions, you may have some emotional issues or unresolved disturbances that are affecting your physical health.  I find that most of my clients are often surprised at what I classify as trauma during our interviews.  They don't consider themselves to have experienced a trauma, but in fact,  most are struggling with unresolved trauma that has been causing serious stress in their lives, and wreaking havoc on their physical well being.

According to Jaffe, Segal, and Dumke (2005),  research has shown that emotional trauma can include events such as auto accidents, ending of significant relationships, humiliating or deeply disappointing experiences, a life threatening illness, loss of pets, loss of control, and other life experiences that may not have necessarily caused physical damage.

There are three elements in emotional trauma:
- The event was unexpected
-The person was unprepared

- There was nothing a person could do to prevent the occurrence


An important thing to understand is that trauma can be addressed and "reprocessed."  This means that despite the things you may have experienced, even in early childhood, can be reprocessed with the help of a therapist trained in EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing.)  As scary as this sounds, most of the clients I see benefit from EMDR for one issue or another.  This technique has been the most effective for my clients for issues such as anger, addiction, abuse, grief, divorce, headaches, depression, anxiety, and various other concerns.

Trauma has become a large focus in my practice and treatment with clients, so I will undoubtedly be writing more about trauma and EMDR.  For today's post, I would like to leave you with one client case to consider to help you evaluate if trauma could be affecting your life and taking away energy from areas you want to see more progress.

I had a client who came to me after being in the hospital, we will call her "Ann".  Ann was hospitalized for seizures, which were medically unexplained.  After days of tests, she eventually saw the psychiatrist who diagnosed her with a conversion episode, meaning her body had converted mental and/or emotional issues into physical symptoms, resulting in seizures.  During my assessment phase with "Ann",  I asked about life history, physical symptoms, and current functioning.  To keep this brief, "Ann" shared that she had some struggles in her relationship with her mother, and had been struggling with intense headaches for months, which were managed by migraine medication.  "Ann" had a habit of zoning out during our sessions, very briefly, but enough to forget her train of thought. (She had mentioned several of her friends thought she was "spacey" because of her habit of zoning out, which had been happening for a couple of years.)

I spent several sessions working with "Ann" on building trust and assessing her timeline.  It turns out that "Ann" had been sexually assaulted when she was 17 and had spent several years repressing this memory, or convincing herself the event had not occurred.  Through EMDR, she was able to work through that trauma, in addition to several other key events related to the sexual assault and some other "smaller" traumas.  Amazingly, she worked through most of her issues in less than 2 months, which is incredible for anyone who has ever been to therapy.   Her headaches subsided and she no longer needs medication.  She has not been zoning out, her sleep has improved, and she has been able form more meaningful relationships and friendships.  This is just one of my more intense cases where EMDR worked so effectively, that it even amazed me as the therapist.

If you are struggling with any physical symptoms, no matter how minor it may seem, consider working with a therapist to address any emotional reasons that you may be struggling physically. Stay tuned for more posts on trauma and EMDR, and please contact me with any questions.

Resources:

Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., and Lisa Flores Dumke, M.A., contributed to this article. Last modified on: 9/16/05.Emotional and Psychological Trauma: Causes, Symptoms, Effects, and Treatment

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/emotional_psychological_trauma.htm

Helping Your Child Through a Traumatic Event

How to Help Your Child Through a Traumatic Event

As parents, we all want to protect our children from grief and trauma.  There are times when we are not able protect our children from the struggles in life and may need some guidance on how to help our child cope with a tragic or sad event.  Below are suggestions to help guide yourself and your child during a tough time.

-Be aware of your own reactions to the event.  Attempt to model calm behavior.

-Be understanding of changes in behavior- (e.g., nightmares, bed-wetting, stomach aches, headaches.)

-Keep yourself available for providing extra attention to your child, including extra hugs as needed.  

-Don’t avoid discussion about this incident if your child expresses a desire to talk.

- Give factual information without unnecessary details.

- When appropriate, express your own feelings (e.g., “I am sad about what happened as well ... Let's talk about what you have been feeling . . . “).

- Reassure them that feelings of fear, sadness, anger, and guilt are “normal” reactions to an “abnormal” experience.

- Don't hesitate to admit that you do not have the answers for all that is asked.

- *Extremely Important*  Monitor exposure to media. Do not overexpose children to television and radio, especially preschool and elementary-aged children.

- Encourage your child’s feelings and curiosity into some form of helping behavior.  For example,  write a letter or draw pictures, donate clothes, or help raise money for those affected by the event.

- Encourage expressive activities including drawing, writing a poem or story, writing a song, dancing, painting, acting, etc.

- Develop a list of emergency contact numbers or determine ways to increase communication when you have to be away from your kids.

- Consider the reactions of children with histories of past traumatic experiences, losses, or emotional disturbance (e.g., depression, anxiety).

- Be observant for signs of suicide, substance abuse, severe sleeping and eating disturbance, and externalizing of angry or aggressive feelings.

- Make an effort to maintain a “normal” routine. Keeping some consistency in household chores, dinner time, homework, bedtime can foster the healing and recovery process.

- If in doubt, seek professional help for concerns regarding yourself or your child.  Grief is a natural response and sometimes requires professional help. Trauma is often confused with grief, but trauma should be treated by a professional as soon as possible.  Look for a therapist who is trained in EMDR if you are concerned about trauma in your family.

GRIEF	TRAUMA
Generalized reaction...SADNESS	Generalized reaction...TERROR
Grief reactions are generally known to the public and the professional	Trauma reactions, especially in children, are largely unknown to the public.
Grief generally does not attack or "disfigure" our identity	Trauma generally attacks, distorts, and "disfigures" our identity
In grief, guilt says, “I Wish I would/would not have..."	Trauma guilt says, “It was my fault. I Could have prevented it. It should have been me”
Dreams tend to be of the person who died	Dreams are about the child, himself, dying or being hurt
Grief reactions can stand alone	Trauma reactions generally also include grief reactions
Pain is related to the loss	Pain is related to the tremendous terror and an overwhelming sense of powerlessness and fear for safety
Anger is generally not destructive	Anger often becomes assaultive (even after non-violent trauma, fighting often increases)

(http://www.starrtraining.org/trauma-and-children)

1) “A Practical Guide for Crisis Response in Our Schools” © 2003 by The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress— 368 Veterans Memorial Highway, Commack New York 11725. www.aaets.org • www.schoolcrisisresponse.com.

2) NASP, © 2002,National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814, www.nasponline.org.

3) Colorado School Safety Resource Center- Supporting Safe and Positive Colorado Schools, 700 Kipling Street #1000, Denver, CO 80215, www.safeschools.state.co.us

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Biggest Regrets in Life

Biggest Regrets in Life

 I spend a lot of time with clients working on issues from the past that affect the present, and will affect their future if they don't address it or figure out a way to learn from it.  Included in these issues, many times, are regrets of what they should have done, could have done, or would have changed if they could go back.  Regrets can be positive because they help us to learn from our pasts, but most of the time, regrets become a source of trauma for us because we dwell so much on them.  There is even a website (SecretRegrets.com) dedicated to people posting their biggest life regrets.   Regret is powerful, but in the spirit of starting off fresh in the new year, I encourage you to take a look at the list and pick a couple of regrets you want to learn from.  You cannot go back in time, but you can use the lessons  from the regrets you have moving forward to lead a more rewarding life.  Below are some of the most common regrets people have.

1. Working so much at the expense of family and friendships. At times, pleasing your boss or coworkers must come second to spending time with your family.  Time is fleeting and soon your kids will be out on their own, leaving you wishing you had left work a bit earlier to build forts and read bedtime stories.  Start making family, friends, and your marriage a priority right at this moment, as this is one of the top regrets.

2. Not standing up for what you believe is right.  Believe it or not, a lot of our biggest regrets in life have to do with things that happened to us at an early age. We never seem to forget – or forgive ourselves – for not speaking up against the bullies, and that carries over into our adult lives.  You may not be able to stand up to the bully from 4th grade, but you can start using your confidence to advocate for yourself when you are being treated unfairly.

3. Losing touch with childhood friends.  There’s usually one childhood or high school friend who we were best buddies with.  Then, one of us moved away.  We might have stayed in touch at first but then got busy.  Luckily, Facebook has changed that a bit and created a way to reconnect with people, but rather than just scanning their photos, reach out and schedule a time to get together.  Socializing in person will go a lot further than a few e-mail messages.

4. Losing track of time due to technology.   Many of us can’t get off our phone/email/ video game addiction.  We sleep with devices next to us. We carry them with us constantly. How many times have you had a day off, only to realize it's 5 O'clock and you didn't do anything you wanted or intended to do because you got sucked into a video game or Facebook?  Change it now!  Set an alarm for a reasonable amount of time to check your e-mail, Twitter, and Pinterest, and when the alarm goes off, you are done.  Then go outside, reconnect with the sunshine, walk your dogs, play with your kids.  Life is much more than the screen of a laptop.

5. Losing a great love.  Romance is a big area of regret for most of us.  Maybe we dumped someone that we wish we hadn’t. Maybe they dumped us.  Most play a never-ending game of “what might have been” for the rest of their lives.  It is tough to simply be happy with the love that you’ve found and takes away from the special moments you have today, if you’re constantly thinking back to what you once had — which actually might not have been half as good as we think it was.  Find something valuable to take from that relationship and then think about ten reasons why you are thankful for your spouse, partner, or your single life. 

6. Worrying about what others think.  Most of us place way too much importance on what other people around us think about us. We spend way too much time asking "What will people think if....?".   More on this topic in another blog post, but in the meantime, let go of being a people pleaser.

7. Not having enough confidence in ourselves.  Related to the previous point regarding standing up for ourselves, a big regret for most of us is questioning why we had such little confidence in ourselves at various times in our lives. This is one of those areas we can't go back and change, but you can start taking stock of your strengths and become more confident now.

8. Living the life that someone else wanted for me.  Related to that lack of confidence, a lot of us get sucked into living the life that we think we should live.  Whether because we’re explicitly told or just because we unconsciously adopt it, we make key life choices – about where to go to school, what to study, and where to work — because we think it’s what will make our parents or others happy.  Our happiness is derived through their happiness – or so we think.   Think of what makes you happy and ask yourself if you should be doing something differently.


9.  Taken things too seriously. My motto of the year is "Live in the Moment, Enjoy the Adventure."  To be perfectly honest, this came to me in church when we were asked to pray about what was in store for each of us for the new year.  These words came to me as if they were spoken out loud, and it made a lot of sense.  I imagine most of you could benefit from living this motto a bit more as well.  Enjoy the little things, stop and smell the roses, you pick the phrase, but slow down before it's over.

10. Traveled more.  Most people have a long list of places they would like to visit.  Most people also have a lot of vacation days built up.  Use your vacation days people- that's what they are there for!  Check a couple big trips and a couple of small trips of each year.  What are you waiting for?

11.  Trying to control things.  Let's face it, there is little we can control in life.  Spending time and effort trying to maintain control usually results in high anxiety.  Do your best to plan things, but learn to go with Plan B, C, or D when needed.  You will save a lot of time to use in ways other than stressing about what didn't go as planned.

12. Holding a grudge. Grudges go along with trying to control things.  If someone has truly betrayed you beyond repair, acknowledge it, and let it go.  Most of the time, grudges come from minor disagreements that people hold on to and it grows until the relationship is beyond repair.  It is okay to not like someone after they way they have treated you, but forgive them, and move on knowing your relationship is not going to exist in the same way, and that is okay.

13. Not taking risks. Nerves get the best of us – especially when we’re young.  We can forgive ourselves that we didn’t screw up enough courage to ask that boy or girl out on a date or to the prom.  It also extends to not applying for a promotion you wanted or trying something new.  This is is also one of the biggies, so learn from your mistakes and start taking some risks.  Without risks, there are no rewards.

14. Not taking better care of ourselves. Often, people regret something about their health, such as not visiting the doctor more often, eating poorly, and not exercising.   Start making your health a priority so that you can live a longer, fuller life.

15. Losing the connection with your spirituality.
According to the Pew Research Center, nearly 6 in 10 U.S. adults say that religion is very important in their lives. However, despite these relatively high numbers — or, maybe because of them — 3 per cent of those surveyed felt sorry about something spiritual. “Common issues included not going to church enough or making choices that people later felt were immoral and not in line with their religious beliefs,” says Morrison. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by spiritual guilt, try to reconnect with your faith in a positive way. Prayer and meditation help us relax, causing blood pressure to dip, heart rate to decrease, and muscle tension to ease up — all very healthy side effects, says Michael Stefanek, PhD, director of the Behavioral Research Center of the American Cancer Society.

Whatever your regrets are, it is important to realize that we can't change the past.  Looking for a "takeaway," or something useful you can learn from an unfortunate experience is the best way to turn a regret into a positive.  If you are finding that regret is overshadowing your present and future, seek professional help from a counselor who can help you process things differently so that they don't become a source of regret for you in the future.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/ericjackson/2012/10/18/the-25-biggest-regrets-in-life-what-are-yours/
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/07/10/life-regrets_n_3574545.html
http://www.secretregrets.com/