How to Be Happier Right Now

Now that I have some extra time, I was finally able to finish a book I've been working on called "Bright Side Up- 100 Ways to Be Happier Right Now" by Amy Spencer.  This is a terrific book and I highly recommend it.  It's light reading, but instantly helps change your mood and puts things into perspective.  This book came into play when I was struggling with being put on restrictions for this pregnancy.  In my previous post, I mentioned that the first few days, I was a moody mess in trying to process what "modified bed rest" meant, and how to make my life work with these restrictions.  Just a few pages of this book, and everything was put into perspective and made me realize my problems were very minor and I needed to change my thought process.   This post is my take on my favorite tips from this book on how to make yourself a bit happier but just changing your perspective.  I hope it inspires you to think differently about circumstances you may be struggling with.

• Ask your one-hundred-year-old self. The basic idea behind this tip is to think of opportunities we are given with a brave and adventurous outlook.  Many times, we reach a fork in the road and panic about which is the better road.  Think of your grandparents, or any older person with wisdom- they are usually kind and gentle, but have made mistakes and learned from them and speak candidly about their own mistakes.  They are able to tell great stories about their mishaps in order to encourage other to be brave, strong, and to take chances.  Next time you are faced with a fork in the road, don't take the safe bet just because it's safe.  Think about yourself when you are one-hundred, and imagine if this is a decision you can claim you put effort into and didn't just take the easy road.  You will be a much more interesting to your grandchildren if you have some stories that don't always end in making the safe decision.

• Live 10 minutes in the life of "the ideal you." How many times have you thought about living your dreams, only to realize that actually reaching those dreams takes a lot of work? Most of us become settled into life, mostly content, but occasionally wishing we had pursued our dreams. I really like my life, but I do often wish I lived on or very near a beach.  I don't see myself uprooting my family to move away to beach somewhere, away from both of our extended families.  However, I can live the ideal me by planning vacations to beach destinations, spending 10 minutes each day decompressing by looking at beautiful beach pictures, or even using some coconut lotion or drinking a fruity drink.  While our "ideal" lives, may be just an idea at time, there is always something we can do to get a small piece of that on a daily basis. Do one small thing each day that your ideal self would do, and you will be more fulfilled and that much closer to living your dream.

• Rephrase to reframe.  I use this all the time with my counseling clients, especially my teen clients.  It is so easy to change our view of circumstances by changing our frame.  Just as an old photo with an old frame may look dated, our views of our lives and ourselves become dated.  What is needed is a new frame.  This can be done easily be rephrasing how we present our circumstances. My personal use of this tip?  Looking at being placed on modified bed rest in a different frame.  When the doctor first gave me my orders to "be a Couch Potato" for at least 7 weeks, all I could think of were the things I couldn't do.  Once I made up my mind to change the frame, I started viewing this time as something to be thankful for.  This is chance to rest and relax before the baby to spend some quality time with my 2 1/2-year-old daughter.  Sure, I may be making 1/2 a paycheck right now, but this time is priceless and I really needed to learn how to rest and this was in the plan for me.  Otherwise, I probably would have kept going 100 miles an hour until delivery and continued in the cycle of exhaustion.  By changing the frame, you have created a fresh start in life full of opportunity and possibility.  Update that old frame by rephrasing and see what opens up!

• Love the line.  I did not want to admit it, but this one really spoke to me.  I am not a patient person when it comes to traffic or waiting in line.  I hate wasting time, and both of those things were, in my opinion, the most inefficient use of time.  This tip suggests that since we can't change the line, we should change our thinking.  I have decided she is completely right!   How often do we wish we could sit in peace for five minutes without being disturbed?  I know most moms will raise their hands in a heartbeat!  Look at the ten minutes you have to spend in the line at the DMV at ten minutes you get to browse Facebook, or play a game on your phone, or just get to zone out and enjoy your cup of coffee.  Take those couple of minutes at a stoplight to enjoy a favorite song that brightens your day.  Spend the time in the waiting room at the dentist catching up on a favorite book or magazine.  Look at lines as a small gift, giving you permission to have a few minutes.  For me, I rediscovered a couple of games on my phone that I enjoy, but never have time to play.  I also try to keep a book in my car or purse for the rare occasion that I have a few minutes of downtime.  If you prepare yourself for the lines, you will start to look forward to them, or at least hate the waiting a little less.

When you read these ideas, you may think when you boil it down, they are all just new ways of seeing the glass half-full; the old reminder about positive thinking.  While these are takes on positive thinking, they change the perspective of it a bit, allowing us to have choices in the way we view our lives and handle our situations.  If you are feeling a bit "blah" with your life or circumstances, find a copy of Amy's book to get your brain going on way to change your pattern of thinking.  It will make a huge difference.  At the end of the day, life is 90 percent what we choose to make it, so why not start using some of these ideas to help you get in the habit?